Get Fly, Or Die Trying

The Bi-Annual Barney's Warehouse starts this Thursday. This is the Olympics of sales. Swarms of Reccessionistas will be there and you will find nothing but H.O.M.A.D. purchases. In the past, I have purchased Habitual Jeans for $20 bucks, Michel Perry boots for $75, Helmut Lang leather jacket for $85, and on and on. Here are a few tips to safely navigate the sale successfully:

1. Basically, the same rules for Sample Sales apply to this as well.

2. Wear full underwear under a maxi dress. Hell, channel your childhood ballerina and pull out a full body leotard and a wrap skirt. This ensures modesty and successful trying on because there are no fitting rooms.

3. The first day is hectic. If you just want to add to your wardrobe, wait until the last couple of days when they mark down even more.

4. The security guards are the worse. If your purse is larger than your key chain, they will try to check it.

5. Open a Barney's account on that day and you will save even more.

6. After you have gathered all of your finds, take them downstairs to the men's department and try on. Men are actually less savage during sales.

7. Think wisely before you purchase. Do you really need a mirrored purple leather miniskirt?

8. The shoes are your best bet but, the system they have to find the mate is hectic, so be patient.

9. Have a glass of wine at Intermezzo before you dive into the sale, you will feel much better.

10. When all is done, head over to Loehmann's on 7th and 16th for a full circle bargain shopping experience.