Bling, Big Hair and no Beyonce: The Oscar's Fashion Review

Last night's Oscar's has to be the gayest and I say that as a compliment. Between  the song and dance acts the plethora of big hair and sequins, I swore Vegas and Rupaul's Drag Race had a baby. Unlike, the golden era of I Don't Give A Flying F*ck Oscar Fashions from the late 1960s to the mid 1980s. The red carpet fashions for the past decade or so has become very safe. Even with  Celine Dion's homage to Kris Kross in 1999, the days of Bob Mackie dressing Barbra Streisand or a tuxedo clad Diana Ross are long gone. If Joan Rivers doesn't understand it, you can't wear it. The awards  were  still entertaining and I am still in shock that  Magic Mike wasn't nominated for Best Picture, there were still some stunning moments on the red carpet and stage for the gayest Oscar's ever.

Channing Tatum is Better Than Any Bag or Shoe




Hubba Hubba, Channing Tatum in a tux is better than any Jimmy Choo shoe. His wife, fellow actress  Jenna Dewan, had one of the best accessories of the night besides an actual Oscar.

Bury Me In Sequins


Besides my closet, Studio 54 and a Vegas revue, I've never  seen as much  sequins as I did last night. Jessica Chaistan kicked it off as Jessica Rabbit coming to life, as did a  long list of ladies including Meryl Streep, JHud, not once  but twice, Halle Berry, Renne Zellwegger, Nicole Kidman, Stacy Kiebler and the list goes on, the ladies said screw simplicity, I'm on team bling.

Thanks  For Telling Us Black Girls Rock



Dame Shirley Bassey, Jennifer Hudson and the First Lady all made some jaw dropping appearances last night. First of all Dame Bassey is 76 and between her and Jane Fonda, 70 is the new 20. Her capturing performance of Goldfinger probably had Adele crying backstage. The next cabaret act to kill it was JHud, who shut it down with a Broadway classic from  a film that came out in 2006 along with a pair of earrings that had every Basketball Wife taking notes. Closing the ceremonies and saving Seth McFarlane from another roll your eye moment was First Lady, Michelle Obama who slayed with bling and bangs. Between those three I totally thought the Oscars had turned into a BET event.

Short Hair Don't Care

Charlize, Halle and Anne proved to ladies and gents that you can still be gorgeous minus long locks.  The cropped  looks showed off impeccable bone structure and drew the attention back to the dresses. Since she stepped on the scene Halle has reigned supreme as the short hair queen, and where Charlize and Anne did the big chop for  movie roles, they could have easily added extensions but instead they get to wear bolder looks and stronger accessories with less hair as a distraction.

Beat Faces Win Awards

Say what you want Adele is a glamour puss. The big hair, the lashes, the mouth, Adele's hair and make up is always, always on point.  Only 24, she channels the sophistication of old UK, a cleaned up doo-wop upscale curvy version. I want to higher her glam team ASAP.


Jane Fonda Makes Your Girl Look Like Precious


 Back in the day, I watched the Jane Fonda fitness tapes because my mom and aunt were part of the 80s fitness craze. How I wish I would have kept up as I probably would have  aged just like Jane. She slayed it in Versace and let's not get it twisted, not only does she look amaze for her age but she looks better than a number of women half her age who were on that red carpet last night. In the words of Lil Kim " You work more body than Jane Fonda."

A 9 Year Old Is Rocking Armani


Quvenzhane rocked a puppy purse and what she liked to call Armani Jr. Think back to your 9 year old self, using safety scissors and fabric glue to make a sad version of a JJ Fad ensemble, now go have a cup of coffee.

H&M is taking over the world


It's not the first time we've seen H&M on the red carpet  but, with Helen Hunt's navy gown, it was probably the first time it was on an Oscar nominee. Simple and classic, it didn't draw any major gasps but accessorized with fine jewels, it goes to show you can be fab and frugal even at the Oscars.




Decorative Bra Straps said...

Absolutely brilliant write up. Thanks for bringing all your brilliant thoughts together into one post. There’s quite a few that I hadn’t encountered before. Thank you !

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