For Skinny White Yoga Girls Who Have Considered Crying When the Rainbow Is Enuf



Photo Courtesy of  Chelsea Loves Yoga


 Most of my friends are Black. As if by looking  at me you'd think otherwise. With saying, it was my Black friends on Facebook who provided me links to the XOJane article, that I refuse to drive traffic to because it was assigned by a clueless and complacent Black woman who lives in my neighborhood and it was written by one of the  most pathetic and self absorbed pseudo yogis one could ever imagine.

In the post, the pseudo yogi whom with all due respect I will call Dumb Ass seems to be deeply disturbed by a heavy set black woman  who I will call Sister Big Bone in her midday all white yoga class. From the story, the heavyset woman was rather inexperienced and not as flexible as the other participants in the class. The writer is more experienced at  yoga and goes to great lengths throughout the article to let you know how she is so amazing in holding her poses and the ease, grace and fluidity as she moves  from pose to pose unlike Sister Big Bone, the inexperienced, inflexible, tee shirt and legging wearing fat black woman. The writer was so uncomfortable with the situation she came home and cried and  although she never spoke with the newbie, she knew that deep down inside this women envied her skinniness and her superiority with yoga. She'd come to this conclusion with no mention of engaging in conversation or a random thought out loud, but my some amazing gift she picked up as a Black belt in yoga, the art of reading  a fat Black woman's mind.


While reading the post I rolled my eyes more times than I can imagine mostly because I don't do melodrama that well. I'm a grossly sensitive person who is able to cry at a drop of a dime but I couldn't take the writer seriously probably because I thought she was a raw and uncut idiot trapped in a world where you would fat shame someone, while they are actually attempting physical activity. I became irate when she came to the conclusion that she  was able to internalize these thoughts that this woman was jealous and angry with her for being thin and white.  Let Dumb Ass Yogi explain, from how she contorted her lips, and stayed in child pose for a majority of class  Sister Big Bone was envious of her, that she was angry at the world, the system and the man because she was unable to twist and turn as easily as the writer, whom also loves tacky tiny yoga clothes.

This is what I took away from Dumb Ass's exchange and account of her event. Dumb Ass may live in New York also known as a cultural  melting pot but she like so many New Yorkers who  have been able to live within a self imposed bubble of being around folks that look like them  therefore  creating a homogeneous security blanket. Yes, this maybe New York a city where you will walk the streets and see people of all colors but, you have havens to escape that and  such being a midday  yoga class.  This maybe New York but people like Dumb Ass have been able to live a segregated life with no issue until she  walked into the class and saw Sister Big Bone and her  world of separate and far from socially equal crumbled. How dare this woman with her big thighs and hips attempt to infiltrate Dumb Asses' precious micro community?  How dare she not suck her teeth, or head roll or break into a gospel hymn like all fat Black women do. When the class was finished and Sister Big Bone was still there, not dropping out even through the grunts and probably the pathological staring, poor hopeless Dumb Ass was for lack of better words dumbfounded. Why didn't  she quit, why didn't this fat Black woman  make a scene and fulfill every stereotype and have   her fat ass  removed from  temple of skinny and white.

Dumb Ass never attempted to chat  Sister Big Bone  up, never introduced herself, instead she ran home and burst in tears because this woman whom she she obviously felt was inadequate to take part persevered through the class. Not once did Dumb Ass think that Sister Big Bone was jump starting her New Year's Resolution to get fit. Or possibly take action on her bucket list, or may have suffered an injury, put on weight and now needs a low impact fitness regime rather than a  high impact workout. Had Dumb Ass stepped out of her own shallow and self serving mind she may have met a woman who likes her ass, thighs and hips and may want to tone up. Had Dumb Ass  taken the time  and stepped out of her mental campaign for an all white  yoga posed world, she may have met a woman who took up a new hobby but that would be too hard for Dumb Ass. Never would an overweight Black woman want to come to a yoga session and be a double minority where she looks up from each pose and their a bony ass vapid, white chick who went home and cried because someone new, Black and Fat was playing in her  white bony ass  sand box. 
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